Horizons

It was a fitting irony that the only student I met when I dropped off my room key and ID badge at the main office of the school was Denardo. He was the student who had the most difficulty staying in school, getting along with teachers and peers, and, as such, became my favorite. As usual, he arrived five minutes after the first bell had rung and was late for homeroom.

"You take care of yourself. You get through this," I said to him as I shoved my emotions to the background and walked toward the exit.

"Wait! Where you goin'?" he asked.

"I've left the school." I replied.

"You mean you quit? Why?"

"It didn't work out for me. But you make it work for you, okay?"

"Okay. I will."

He looked at me with disbelief written across his face. In truth, it mirrored what I felt in my heart. The fact that I had walked out of my classroom two days ago raging, "I quit," still hasn't registered in reality for me. All my life I'd wanted to teach, loved my work, and identified myself as Teacher.

Closing the car door, I took a deep breath and turned the ignition. I drove away knowing that I was leaving a huge part of my life behind and was facing the frightening task of redefining my life and who I am.

God Bless the Children I Have Loved

God bless the children in my care,
And then as they pass everywhere
Across the seas, beyond my reach
God bless the children who I teach.
May they recall the lessons learned
When they were young, when they were small,
And may those lessons yet return
To help them now when they are tall,
When life gets hard to face and too
When love is lost and friends are few.
God bless the children I have known;
God bless the seeds which I have sown.

Friday Afternoon

I drove home from work through the pastures of grazing Holsteins, past the fields of cotton ripe and white and full on black, withered stems--a Southern snowfall--windows fully open and winds tossing my fine long hair in every direction, wanting to rid myself of the toxic atmosphere of the day. If I could have, upon arriving home, I would have dived into a pool of chilling water and swum and swum until I was breathless and clear of it all. I crave the beach where I can wade in the swirling waters at my feet and feel salty breezes clearing my soul of the things I deal with on a daily basis in my job. I am a teacher.